Are You Living an Unexamined Life? The Journey

If Socrates contention that an unexamined life is not worth living, is correct. What is an appropriate response for a thoughtful and compassionate person?

I am at a point, and have been for about a year, where I am thoughtfully examining both the outcomes and patterns of my life. While the journey of my life has been for the most part enjoyable, there have been times of intense emotional pain and occasional disappointment.



At 52, I find myself feeling very different than I did in my 20s and 30s, which is to be expected. However, I also find myself feeling quite different than I did in my early 40s, and that awareness is intriguing to me. How can I be so much more at peace with reality than I was ten years ago? In many ways, the outer world is not better, whether looking at my home life, my finances or my current professional endeavors; it is more of a struggle today. Between divorce and my three children entering into college and adulthood, my reserves have been depleted. I also lost a significant amount of money as the direct result of the economic collapse of 2008 both in terms of investments and professionally.

While plugging away day-to-day in a small consulting firm and teaching a couple of college courses, the economic pause of the last two years, has thus far limited my rewards. I have had more potential business relationships end prematurely than blossom in the past three years and I do look at how my actions limited those relationships. On my own part, I turned down two offers that were not quite right but workable as I could not get the other party to see the full value of my long-term participation in their ventures. I have been confronted with ethical dilemmas, bullying and unkempt promises. While I have stood my ground, I have not fully defended myself and my legal rights.

During this same period of time, home life has been difficult with problems thrust upon me by others as well as the problems that were the direct result of choices I have made. I have had to deal with a few volatile situations and keep them from escalating, which is both humbling and frustrating. I could take on a cynical view of the world and yet I have not.

One of my sources of wisdom is Buckminster Fuller, a genius but also a man who dealt with failure and serious life problems. At a low point in his life, he came to the conclusion that all he had learned in the past should be set aside. The patterns of the past had led him to his current low point, so what good were they? He vowed to go forward living his life as a fifty year experiment, that is judge each situation with openness and attention.

I began attempting this philosophy of living nearly a decade ago. It is has allowed me to be both true to myself and accepting of consequences during a tumultuous period. I am not harsh with myself but observant. Sometimes my actions are the cause of a result that I wanted or did not want. Yet often it is clear that my influence on the behavior of others is quite limited and that my direct actions did not change the results at all.

Steven Covey in the book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, speaks to the three circles emanating outward from an individual. The first circle is the circle of control. It is a relatively small circle and mastery of it provides benefits. Those benefits however are limited. The next circle going outward is the circle of influence, which is both the circle demanding the most skill and the circle with the most potential for creating. The third and outermost circle is the circle of concern. This third circle is a trap for most of us as we become concerned about all kinds of causes, issues and problems that lie outside of our circle of influence.



I have worked during the past decade as well on testing my circle of concern against my circle of influence. I have done this not just on a political or professional issue but also with regards to my inner circle of friends and family. Anyone with children, even adult children, knows that our concern for our children nearly always exceeds our influence upon them in the short term. Children teach us that the most powerful aspects of our influence often lag our actions-behaviors-words by years.

Let's get back to Socrates. I do not contend that I have perfected self-examination but point out merely that I have attempted it and continue to do so. With regards to the more subtle meaning of Socrates statement, I have the following take. By examining ones life it becomes possible to true up ones values and beliefs against ones actions. By examining the results that occur over time it becomes possible to see truth as reflected back by the world. Self worth is built by the iterations of being aware of one's self and in responding not merely reacting to life. Since the death of our body and the loss of all possessions is the end result of this life, maybe taking our own unique journey is the point of examination.