Power to Destroy Always Greater than the Power to Create

While we spend much of our time attempting to create what matters most or build upon the things we have invested our love, time or money into; it is none-the-less important to remember that at any point in time, our ability to destroy exceeds our ability to create.


This power dynamic, unfortunately appears to be a universal truth. For any individual or group, the instantaneous capacity to destroy exceeds the instantaneous capacity to create.
It takes at least two people to build a relationship, yet only one to destroy it. Twenty years of good will can be undermined in an afternoon. It's kind of scary when you think about all the implications of this principle. Relationship building and the development of intimacy take time and trust, there really is no short-cut. Once one person in a relationship gives up, for whatever reason a long-term relationship is in deep danger. The power is now completely in the hands of the person willing to destroy the relationship not the person attempting to save it.
If you read the 9-11 Commission report, the most stunning thing is how a group of about 30 people spent two years and about $500,000 to put together and pull-off an event that took 3,000 lives, caused $10 Billion in direct damages, shattered our sense of security and unleashed a decade of war. Look at the imbalance of their effort to destroy and our efforts to restore what was lost.
I am not writing about this topic to depress your senses or call upon your destructive impulses but rather to highlight the challenge that creators face when they begin to make progress and have in-fact empowered themselves. When trying to create, you will face many roadblocks and negative feedback. Do not let impatience or frustration draw out your anger.
When you feel angry, regardless of cause, it is always best to carefully choose your response. You may need to take a breather by going for a run or walk to avoid reacting to the situation.
Anger at its best is a call to energize for self-defense but anger at its worst is reckless lashing out that usually inflicts far more damage to our creative efforts and relationships than it dies to our target.
In other articles where I examined developing a personal vision, the focal point of our creative efforts, it was important to note that creating a vision is choice with consequences. In fact, in order to create, you must accept all of the consequences of your choice.
Let's return to anger, the power to destroy and the creative empowered path.
When angry, it is important to revisit both the long-term results that are encompassed within your vision -and- to examine the values and beliefs which inform your spiritual path. When the impulse to destroy rears its ugly head, it is more important to take a stroll on your spiritual path than it is to force progress or undermine your vision.

Breathing and Calming the Mind

Although not a great book, I own an interesting book about working with "dinosaurs" that identifies the reptilian responses behind those difficult people at work. When confronted, a reptile either fights, flees or freezes. Inside our human brain are those reptilian impulses and they are triggered during periods of stress and anxiety.

If you want to read more about the evolution of the human mind in a readable book, I would suggest; Boca's Brain by Dr. Carl Sagan. (Yes, it was written by the "billions of stars" astronomer.)

The reptilian response to freeze, results in us holding our breath when we are stressed or in discomfort. It is not just the breath that is frozen, but rather we have involuntarily contracted most of the muscles of our body. When you are in the midst of a reptilian response, it is difficult to maintain an open perspective, let alone harness your conscience and your values.

Both practioners of yoga and buddist mediation already understand the focus upon and use of breathing in relaxation and meditation. During my training as a yoga teacher, the most difficult work we did was learning and practicing the various types of breathing. It was hard to master and exhausting.

When anxious or upset, taking a breath or two before you speak or act gives you a meaningful pause. You can train yourself to notice when you are holding your breathing. During the next 24 hours, make a mental note whenever you catch yourself holding your breath. When you catch yourself doing this take a handful of slow deep breaths. This will assist you in being responsive to the situation as opposed to being reactive.

The creative stance as I've discussed is a responsive stance. It is driven by vision, passion and values. The creative stance requires taking in the truth whether that truth is pleasant or unpleasant. In the creative stance, what works is more important than being right. So when failures occur and bad news comes in....breathe. As they say in sports, "take a breather".

The impulsive reaction to difficulty or disappointment is reptilian and undermines both creativity and our spirit. When we catch our reaction and add breathing and a pause, we empower ourselves to be responsive. We enable our vision, our passion and our values to shape a response. We can context our action against the desired envisioned result we seek. We can filter our options against the values we wish to affirm.

So have a great day. Take a breath and plunge ahead.